Scrat in the Watchtower
by Mr. BramStoker
Summary: in all their years, they've seen just about every unexplained, magical or just... unexplainable phenomena. but the real question is: how would they be able to handle their jobs while keeping an eye on a certain nut loving sabre toothed squirrel who's developed a fondness for a very certain blonde alien


**Scrat in the Watchtower**

 **I don't own Justice League or Ice Age. This is for fun and for my personal amusement. Please enjoy and R &R**

Black Mask sighed a heavy exasperated sigh as he returned from a prolonged raid on Oolong Island. That was the last time he ever agreed to set foot on that bedlam of a paradise. All he wanted was to sit down on his chair and smoke his new cigar. Suddenly, Roman lost footing and collapsed on the floor with a loud thud. Grumbling as he got up, Roman gasped in horror as to see his beloved desk covered in claw marks and messy paw prints all over his office

"I'm gonna kill her. I said 'Kara, if you ever bring another wild untamed animal in the house, there will be consequences' well look what she did" Batman growled as he hammered on Kara's door as a sobbing Hippolyta pulled him away

"Hey! What's all the yelling about? We're… trying to sleep" Alex yawned, she and Kara having got in bed. Batman noticed Kara was cuddling with something. He couldn't make it out… although he could see that the mysterious thing has a wide bushy tail. All of a sudden, a very weird looking but adorable saber toothed squirrel hopped onto the bed, growling at the tall masked intruder, protecting his owners

"awwww, it's a widdle itty bitty squirrel! That's sooo sweet" Hippolyta cooed, fawning over the tiny rodent. Batman retched in disgust, embarrassed about how the all mighty Queen of the Amazons, most feared woman in Man's World is acting like a complete lovey-dovey sissy

"Oh wait! That's the little thing from Ice Age!" Jade gasped excitedly

"Can we keep him Mommy? Can we? Can we? Pllleeeasse?" Kara begged, giving Hippolyta her oh so infectious puppy eyes

"awwww of course baby girl, we can keep… um, what would you like to name him, honey?" Hippolyta asked sweetly at her daughter

"how about Vermin?" Batman asked grumpily, Hippolyta scowling at him. All of a sudden, Scrat shrieked and then attached himself to Batman's face, clawing him in an attempt to teach him a lesson

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Batman yelled over and over, everyone laughing in amusement at the sight of their curmudgeonly, cranky, cantankerous, no-nonsense, stick in the mud, pole in the ass, wet blanket, grumpy gilled old man getting the crap kicked out of him by a wild little squirrel

"ok c'mere Scrat! Come on, boy! C'mere, I got your peanuts!" Kara called affectionately, Scrat's hyper sense of smell perking up as he excitedly detached himself from his opponent and then leaped into his owner's open palm

"hehe he's a really frantic lil guy, aint he? Man, I just gotta show this video to the guys at Arkham. Ohhh the looks on their faces…" Robin chuckled, his merriment quickly replaced with a pallor white color as Batman glared venomously at him

"you do that and I'll tie you to a pole, butt naked, your ass covered in honey and a bunch of bees stinging you" Batman threatened

"awww who's a good boy? Who's a good lil squirrel, hmm?" Kara said, petting Scrat gently. The squirrel yawned and snuggled up with Kara, all three snoring

"aww…" everyone awed. Everyone that is, except for you know who

"VOLDEMORT?" Ambush Bug asked

NO YOU MORON! GET DE HELL OUTTA MAH STORY!

Later that night after Hippolyta tucked Kara and Alex in for the night, Scrat stood on the nightstand keeping watch while his owners slept. Kara looked so angelic snoring softly, hugging her teddy bear. Alex snored more quietly, a pint of drool on her lip. Scrat seemed comfortable with the idea of staying in this mansion. At first he was frightened by the enormous and very weird looking humans in the house, but after he encountered Kara, he immediately became smitten with the girl for two reasons. One: the fact that she was a very nice and loving young girl with a good heart and who takes very good care of the animals. Two: she had a massive collection of nuts in her room. To be honest, Scrat's been so obsessed with that ever elusive nut he has never realized nor wondered about finding a home where he and his nuts can live in peace. But still, he wouldn't mind having company, as long as they kept their mitts off his nuts and especially away from his owners, particularly the grouchy human dressed as a bat.

All of a sudden, Scrat's sense of smell perked up again. Only this time, instead of the inviting scent of food or comfort… it was the scent of imminent danger. Danger in the form of a certain disreputable assassin with a very bad habit of turning up like a bad penny. Scrat had heard Kara talk about this man that's been hunting her, the one she calls "Deathstroke" Scrat had only been in the house for a few seconds, but he's quite aware that this estate has several- no make that LOTS of weaponry. Sticks that shoot fire, sticks with sharp edges, weird looking boomerangs, all sorts of gizmos.

Either way, whether he was invited or not, and in Deathstroke's case definitely not invited, Scrat was NOT going to let some greedy hunter try to harm his owners. And if he laid one hand on his nuts, then he wouldn't be held responsible for what the little critter might do. Scrat looked to see if Kara and Alex were really sleeping. Kara turned on her side and sucked her thumb innocently. Scrat quickly scurried across the bed, went across the floor and peeked over the windowsill to see the would be intruder climbing up with a rope attached to a hook on the railing. In his time spent in the house, Scrat's learned that he can cut and eat through rope with sheer ease. Either way, there's no doubt that the whole household would be very grateful that their new out of time and definitely out of place resident would outsmart and humiliate their long time rival.

Slade snickered to himself as he loaded cyanide-scented bullets into his gun. He was nearing his golden goose. Unbeknownst to the man who supposedly uses 98% of his brain, there's been yet another new addition. The odd thing is, it's not human, it's not your average animal either. As a matter of fact, it is the missing link of the age old Ice Age that began millions of eons ago before the whole universe was formed.

Then Slade felt a weird sound. Chewing. He looked left and right around the nighttime sky. Had all those years of contract killing finally taken a toll on his sanity? Then out of nowhere Slade felt a very painful vibe. He grunted in agony, looking in amazement and disbelief that his hand had a rather small but very critical wound. Slade quickly assumed someone… or some **thing** didn't want him to enter the abode unannounced. What he saw was the most remarkable sight he's ever seen in all his years. He's seen all kinds of phenomena. Aliens, amazons, mermaids, bugs, scarecrows, plants, robots, ghosts, you name it. But for the life of him, he never, ever expected to come face to face with the supposedly extinct race of sabre toothed squirrels. Scrat smelled that his opponent carried a deadly poison and quickly assumed that he was trying to critically injure Kara. Well, not while this little guy is around, he definitely won't. it was time that the age old question of whether animals were more superior than men would finally be answered

Forming out his claws, Scrat made a powerful cut at Deathstroke's only active eye. The mercenary yowled with pain as all his senses blocked out. He wasn't in pain, more or less, but he was outraged by the fact that he, the world's most notorious and most wanted assassin had been outfoxed, outsmarted and also outmaneuvered by the world's first prehistoric rodent. Slade was so angry, he lost his grip over the rope and landed on the grass with a heavy thud. Growling in livid rage, Deathstroke quickly regenerated his eye and decided that it'd be best if he'd refuse all contracts on the Justice League. Chances are, if, and definitely IF he foolishly attempted to try again, the squirrel would be waiting for him. Or worse, his supposedly deceased race may have supposedly been revived and have secretly burrowed under the house, lying in wait to attack or bury any unwelcome guest who foolishly dared to walk in. either way, this definitely was NOT Slade's night. He had no idea how he would explain the failed mission to his employers at Intergang. Slade glowered menacingly as the squirrel stood on the window, his egg-like eyes staring deep into Slade's conscience, immediately warning him that the next time he tried to break in, Scrat will do way more than scratching him. Slade cowardly gulped and ran as far away from the house as he could

Now he REALLY wishes he would've stayed in the Army and not have taken up such foolish ideas.

It truly was no surprise the next morning when a very excited Kara told everyone the events that occurred that night. Scrat mimicked the events with his body language while Kara translated. Everyone was more amused by the story, although a bit miffed they couldn't record the whole ordeal. But personally Batman couldn't believe what he was hearing. Deathstroke the Terminator, basically a wacko so psychotic and so deadly he'd give Boba Fett a run for his money, was beaten and scared away by such a weird looking little rodent. Plus, he had to admit, seeing Scrat defeat Metallo by chewing all of the cyborg's wires and circuits was really funny. He also found how Scrat managed to blow up Brother Eye by overloading the sentient satellite with mounds and mounds of data about the Ice Age.

Either way, like it or not, Scrat the sabre toothed squirrel is the official mascot and team pet of the Justice League.


End file.
